The demanding beneficiary is the most frustrating type of beneficiary an executor deals with. A demanding beneficiary will try to extract more property from the estate than otherwise entitled. As executor, I dealt with a demanding beneficiary which started with a wish list for possessions soon after the funeral.
The Demanding Beneficiary
In the article The Mistake I Made in the First Few Days, I mentioned that a beneficiary and others went to the second floor bedrooms looking over the possessions of the decedent. At that point, I had no clue of the eventual consequence. About a week after the funeral, I realized the consequence. I was about to send an email to the attorney when I noticed an email sitting in my inbox. The email was from the same beneficiary touring the bedrooms looking over the possessions. In the email, the beneficiary asked for all the gifts he had given to my Uncle over seventeen years plus a few other items from the home. I realized then that this beneficiary was taking inventory the day of the funeral and could become a problem.
How I handled the Wish List for Possessions
The problem with this email is that the beneficiary was asking for most of the possessions in the estate. With a large pool of beneficiaries in the estate, there wouldn’t be enough possessions to go around. So, I decided to treat the email as a wish list for the possessions. This meant that the beneficiary won’t get everything on the wish list. In fact, the beneficiary would have to settle for maybe a couple of items. Since there was nothing in the will about distributing possessions, I handled this dilemma in the following way:
- First, I delegated the wish list to my Uncle’s stepdaughter. I had no idea where the gifts were in the home, or, if they still existed. Fortunately, the stepdaughter agreed to search out the items on the wish list.
- Next, I decided that my Uncle’s gifts were his property. Therefore, those gifts would be distributed to the pool of beneficiaries of the estate. There were too many beneficiaries and too few possessions to go around.
- Finally, I communicated the decision to all the beneficiaries. I didn’t want eighteen demand emails in my inbox. So, I decided to communicate regularly with the beneficiaries to keep them informed on the progress of the estate.
Conclusion
After I wrote to the beneficiaries, I continued working on the estate without a problem. However, I knew with the exposure of a demanding beneficiary, that it wouldn’t be long until the next demand. I knew I had an ongoing problem to deal with.
Was this article helpful in dealing with demanding beneficiaries? Do you think I could of handled the situation better? Share your thoughts or questions in the comment area below.
I am the executor. I have strong personalities in my family and don’t really feel like having a party to sort through and go through items with everyone. It’s just too stressful and because I have siblings that live out the the state, can I just leave it open and let each beneficiary give me a list of items they would like and then if no one else wants that item they can have it; if more than one person wants the item we can pull a name out of a hat? Everything else can stay with the sibling purchasing the house from the rest of us? I’m talking like plates, silverware, glasses, candles, small items like this?
Hi Cassidy,
You are the Executor of a probated estate and you have to settle the estate under the rules of probate. An executor must determine the value of the estate to ensure that no estate taxes need filing. Unfortunately, the personal property of the decedent is part of the valuation along with financial assets and real estate. Of course, this depends on if the state the estate is located assesses an estate tax. I am assuming that the estate value is under the federal threshold of approximately 11 million. Anyway, what you need to do is keep the possessions that have real value and keep an inventory. You shouldn’t be distributing those items until all debts and taxes have been paid. All the possessions that have no real value, you can distribute or throw away. Be careful with personal property and keep tight records because when the estate is settled you will have to provide the probate court with a final accounting. Again, keep the valuable possessions under your control by putting them in a secure place. Also, alert the beneficiaries on why you need to do this. As for the possessions with no value, you can distribute those any way you want if nothing is specified in the will.
I hope this helps.
Robert